The advice given to myself today: follow your own rhythm.
And today that means, by not searching for joy. I'm not searching for peace even...well...maybe overall but not in this very moment. In this very moment, and overall in the past few days there is a deeper message with an infinite amount of little messages in my, oh...what shall I call it? Uncomfortablness? Anxiety? Sadness? Frustration? All of it I suppose...and more descriptive words not coming to me now. But each time I get it...something more comes. Then I get it even more. How deeply co-dependent I am as a person. Not even just to other people, but to ideas and situations. This is my resistance, this is my anchor that keeps me from flowing fully, this is my self-imposed barrier. I thought I acknowledged this before, but oh how I only barely scratched the surface.
First....I MUST simply sit in this. Because it takes me a while to digest information fully. That is also my own personal rhythm....taking of my own time. I won't sit and go on with life as normal. I will sit and mindfully observe with every reaction I possibly can with how I honestly feel. I MUST simply sit in how uncomfortably it will make me feel, and acknowledge I'm not always a good person. I'm not always a good person. I'm not always a good person. And I do not need to beat myself up, for not always being a good person. I
I'm not always a good person.
If i want to find a more authentic self...
if I want to live in better alignment, if I want more peace and harmony within, if I want to co-create with others and the world around me, then I need to further address my co-dependency on a deeper level.
I'll do so by following my own inner rhthym and pause so I can realize and see how my every single action and reaction is playing a part in this. I'll pause in the moment, the whole day...for weeks if needed. My own rhthym will know when to start taking steps again to practice
As always...Peace and Love. This is accepting your Allness...your Wholeness
Art N' Soul